The Relapse of The Anti-Feminist

In light of what's happening in our blessed nation, the brutality inflicted on small kids, how people can even do something so heinous and still live with themselves is beyond me. Now I am no expert on criminal psych, so I don't have much to say on that account apart from 2 words, Hang him!, But I do have something to say on the feeling of feminism which is visible evidently post such crimes.

I won't campaign for gender equality! Crazy huh? coming from me, who's been howling about  better treatment of women all this while, rather obnoxiously? When one speaks of gender equality, it equates to men and women having, equal rights, same social standing and being treated the same. While I agree on the first 2 accounts, the third I'm a little skeptical about and here's why. Well, to begin with, I don't want to be treated like a man, an opinion I think most women would agree to I believe or rather hope. It's pretty simple actually. I am not a man, I don't have the same needs, so don't treat me like one. Yes, respect my space, treat me right according to my needs, rest I can deal with.

The one's leading these "treat us the same" campaigns, are the one's who'll expect a man to give up his seat in a crowded bus, open doors for 'em, jump the queue, get the picture, right?

At the risk of sounding "anti-feminist", I am not even remotely ashamed to admit that there are many things in my life which I wouldn't be able to do without the help of a man. Simply shooting down ideas and opinions that don't sound pro-women is pointless and this non nonsensical feminist ideologies are what give me sleepless nights (only when I am downloading Grey's Anatomy episodes) 
All I am saying is, the easiest way to end this tirade between genders, is to treat them as individuals, see what you like or hate about them, before stereotyping them based on their gender. And this is for both men and women!

Celebrating womanhood is a great thing, but this kind of mob mentality and needless demands aren't going to serve any purpose. Instead one could just focus on making the best of what one has,you would achieve much more because you would shirk the fixed notions of how much you’re supposed to have achieved. By doing this, you wouldn't just be getting your life in order but set a precedent for others to follow.
Just accept that there are certain things that the men in your life do it better than you, whether its cooking or driving (I can see my brothers taking a victory lap,Idiots!), instead of contesting and challenging their every accomplishment, just saying, we could co-exist more happily. But if you keep doing things, just to prove that you're better than him, in Marlyin Monroe's words "Women who try to be like men, lack ambition".

Yesterday Today Tomorrow

I miss a lot of  things in life.. people mostly, but there are some experiences you have, that are just so awesome, that they never repeat themselves. Well a major contributing factor of course is the people you had these experiences with.

And you know, the crappiest part is, As you're traipsing down sweet la-la memory lane, you end up missing all of this even more when you are certain that there is no chance of it happening, atleast in the next 10 mins(the phase where you're feeling a little emotional and nostalgia just keeps crashing over you)

So things that I miss :

 Rains, now rains are so goodamn apt for this "I miss you/that" mood, you can't help but think that way, its all gloomy and clammy, the ambiance is set. And the Chai Pakode, there's some bizarre excitement and enthusiasm that these hot,greasy treats bring out in you. Oh and my favorite singing and dancing in the rain endlessly whilst stuck in rains in the middle of nowhere.

Beaches, I don't know, is it the never ending expanse of sky and sea, the calm or what, it's bound to take you down that memory lane. The crooked sand castles you made and proudly posed with for numerous photos as a kid, getting drenched in the middle of crazy waves, floating around driving life guards crazy, burying people under blankets of sand. and drawing weird (at times questionable) things on them.

Inbox, messages of yesteryear's ,plans, conversations, conspiracies, birthday wishes, tiffs, true confessions (not the kind that's doing the rounds on FB nowadays ), just makes you replay all those times, those moments with the whole picture being painted, like it just happened yesterday- those secret "hideout spots", making up spooky tales, early morning return after insane birthdays and Niteouts (don't ask ;) ) and  night-in's usually involving a movie marathon, some chai-biskoot and loads of Maggi.

Now saying that I miss just these times, would be the understatement of the century. But as much I miss 'em, I look forward to making new memories and newer experiences with people I have met and I will meet. Because you're only moving forward, when you're looking ahead. So yes, a little measure of nostalgia for the soul and we're back to the present. It's like how Master Oogway says (Kung Fu Panda fan here!)

"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is mystery
Today...is a gift!! That's why it's called the present.."

More than strangers

People who you've never met, never seen them beyond their social network DP's (most are photoshopped to perfection ), some you give a second glance else it's business as usual.
In the last couple of months, I've had the pleasure of knowing a few of these strangers. A pleasure, I'd say cause meeting them has been nothing short of awesomeness. Now this usually doesn't happen. For many reasons : 1) being yourself is too mainstream, although people may scream about it from their rooftops, saying it and actually doing it are 2 entirely different concepts that some bozos can never grasp. 2) people have way too much time on their hands to tell random people thing like "Hi, will you fraand me, I am cool and smart" , yes this an excerpt from a message, it happened, for real.

Anyhow, screw the bozos, about the awesome strangers I met and yet to meet a couple of 'em, in the journey of pursuing a common goal. What amazed me was that, there wasn't just a match in the way we thought but also in a way the kind of lives we've lead, the people we've met among other things.
Now this was exciting because, because they had so much to share, teach and experience, we did it together and how!
And until very recently, I hadn't met any of 'em, and when I did, it was just a validation of everything I had thought about them. I still stand by the idea that friends I've made till now are my friends for eternity but that doesn't mean I couldn't have more on board.
That instant click, that connection, wavelength match is something you are always looking out for or rather should look out for, that's where and when the magic happens

So the next time you meet somebody who you don't know too well, or before you turn away before getting a chance to know 'em, think again! Who knows, they might just turn out to be more than strangers

P.S. No, I am not asking you to accept "Fraaandhip requests!!! Please by all means Ignore 'em and Block 'em. Cheers

Dekh Bhai Dekh

A week back when Asaram Bapu, didn't know who he was up until then , made a statement on how Nirbhaya should have reacted in that situation. She should have pleaded, called them her 'brothers' and asked, sorry, begged them to leave her. Now my first reaction to this asinine comment was to berate my choicest gallis in all the languages I know, but on further research and couple of news flashes later, I realized he wasn't the only one. There were close to a thousand people at the gathering where this "Ass-aram" made these statements, and I can bet you my little toe nail and win it back when I say that, a good 100+ in the audience there clapped and nodded in agreement.

The prolific rise of the self proclaimed "God men" is not startling, I say this cause we are a nation that worships these gurus/saints/babas and will garland anything and anyone who can "heal" AIDS and others of its kind. Switch on your TV and you will catch them dancing to some bhajjan, and howling some mantras and touching new heights of ridiculous. Now in my personal opinion, old men in overalls singing and dancing on national television are a load of bat droppings. I wouldn't give 2 hoots about what they say. But nowdays they seem to have a lot say!!!

And it's not just them, every tom dick and harry, with a famous daddy or a seat in the assembly has a ridiculous insight or suggestion to make. Bizarre even doesn't even begin to describe their statements, right from how Chowmein is the reason minds are getting corrupt, making little girls wear overcoats at all times and of course the show stealer, calling the man who is raping you, Your Brother.

The bit that saddens me the most is the that a large population of our country agree and  stand by such chauvinist and medieval ideologies. You can go ahead and set up fast track courts, hang rapists but unless there is an attitude make over, the one that screams "She asked for it", we are in for a long ride.

So, my sisters and brothers kindly give a crash course to any fellow "brother" who needs it rather, deserves it.

For Her

Everytime I hear about a rape case, I am infuriated, I get real angry, swear a lot, hurl my choicest gallis to the politicians, and shudder. This has happened time and again, in different parts of India and my own state, So I resolve that I will avoid going to these places,well atleast make sure I don't deliberately go there. So there was the Mathura rape case, the Bhanwari Devi case, the 3 year olds in Hydrebad and Bidar ,closer home the Scarlett Keeling case and an entire geography mapped out where horrendous damage was inflicted on women. And these are just a few, I'd make a mental note of my not-to-visit places and eventually get on with my life. Then the Delhi gang rape case came along, now Delhi has always on top of my list but this time its hard to move on,it was brutal, it was sickening and just inhuman, but what latched me on was her. Something about this girl drew me from a forlorn purposefully forgotten reality.

Today, I woke up to hear she is no more.

I for one ask for justice fitting of the crime, a week back I would have asked for barbaric ways of killing these bastards, but today I ask for much more.
I ask that every girl/woman treat each other with the utmost respect.
I ask every man to honor women, her body, her emotions,her soul and also to keep it in their pants.
I ask the society to antagonize and cause anguish to the rapists and not its survivors.
I ask the police to be sensitive to a girl's complaint,she may be 'modern' or 'forward', but she is never asking for it. Not to be leered at, not to be assaulted and definitely not to be raped.
I ask the judiciary to amend and fix the loop holes in the laws that let so many get away with such a heinous crime. And the 6 guys, be killed. Yes.Barbarically.
I finally ask the government, enough with the cheap political antics, get working, get working now. 

She didn't ask to be a symbol of courage nor did she want to be a singular rallying point of hope and a sign of things to turn around for the better. Yet she was and continues to be all of this and much more. In the past 2 weeks, she went through an ordeal that made us question our own belief system whether humans are still... well humans.
The brutality of the pain inflicted on her is unimaginable and yet she waned to live, she wasn't a victim, she was a survivor.

I don't know her name, in the past few days she has been addressed as nirbhaya/amanat/damini. Now what remains of her is her spirit. Her family asks for privacy, I hope they can grieve in peace. For me, I don't need to know her name to cry for her, to pray for her, to hope that she is at peace.

The Magic of Sundays

SUNDAY!!!

sounds fun already right??? thought as much.

The day we all look forward too, well not as much as a friday but well sunday is in a league of its own. Back when we were kids, it used to be the only day off from school, so unlimited access to television, and those who grew up watching Doordarshan will know this.. SHAKTIMAAN!!! afternoon siestas, playing endlessly the same old hide and seek , catching cook and all its variations. And yes an evening trip to the beach was a must.

Sundays during holidays were also highly awaited. Parents,reluctantly tagging along kids to fairs, parks,movies. A Sunday morning show was a huge affair: get up early, get dressed and keep asking the grown-ups "lets go??? ", incessantly. Less crowd, less traffic, Empty parking lots, It used to make you smile.

 Sundays, with everybody sleeping in, you would wake up to the chirpy birds, some stray dog hobbling away, and the smell of the amazing holiday special breakfast your mom made.

OK that's enough nostalgia.

Sundays now are totally different, caching up with friends, recovering from hangovers, checking status updates on fb,twitter,bbm,whatsapp and what-not,crazed queues everywhere and anywhere, and don't get me started on the beaches : wannabes, extra cheeky teenagers (actually put them in the same bracket), weirdly dressed tourists and some really gawky locals.

Everybody has their  days, Mine is Sunday. Some would argue and say that it is followed by 'dreadful-pathetic- sad as hell', Monday. But for me, Its about the long talks with my family about anything under the sun, getting my hands messy; painting or cooking. I never could really make my family or friends understand the importance of a Sunday in my life, they don't question it either.

The point of my Sunday discourse is simple. In this mad rush to have more and do more , we forget the little things that made us happy. The very things that you probably intended to do on a lazy Sunday morning but didn't. Everybody has a calling, and there isn't really a perfect time to hear it, but the stillness on a Sunday morning , just makes it  heard a little clearly. May your Sundays be as meaningful as mine.

Always here..

People do not last forever their impressions do.

It's the little things they do that sets them apart from the others, their mannerisms, sense of humor, the uncanny one of a kind style, the funky colorful eye wear and the hard to miss slang.

You'd think that I am being specific.. I am.

You could pick him out of a crowd, the one cheering the loudest of 'em all, that'd be him. You can ask everybody who knew him and they will all have a story to tell you : how he helped them fix their car, how he resolved a lovers-tiff, how he ferried them back and forth from places, how he enjoyed every single moment, how he swept people off by his cooking. A million times over and again, that's how far he'd go to help his friends. 

I have teased, troubled and annoyed him to extents I didn't know I could and he still took it in his stride. He had his ways of getting back but there never goes a day where I wish I could take it all back.Always up for an argument, always at the front of things and always enthusiastic. You'd be amazed at the things he'd do for a dare.. we certainly were.

He had that zing which'd make people get up and dance even if it was reluctantly. Birthday's were incomplete without his trademark midnight wishes and of course the cakes. Always had a tale to tell, long,descriptive and immensely entertaining.

A year has gone by, and it's not gotten any easier to accept that i won't get repreminded for not keeping in touch,that i lost a brother, a friend. 

Prankit.. for all of us.. never gone.. always here.